The Time is Now

So I've hit a slump recently in terms of getting things done and finding the motivation to work. Given that I am a student, that means I am just tired of school. I haven't had a real break from school for almost two years now because of summer school and I can't motivate myself to keep going. Writing this out will hopefully help speed the process a bit.

I was thinking about things that I truly care about and one of the top things on my list is the environment. Plain and clear, I love trees and nature and I think personal sacrifices are simply necessary to preserve the beauty of the world. The rules of life are simple: find something you care about and do something about it (alternatively, binge watch Netflix until you are so ashamed of yourself you can't do anything else). So it seems like I've got the first part down and I have been working on the second part but remember I mentioned my current problem with motivation?

In the past couple of years I've become vegetarian, bought a bike, and just generally started caring less about my appearance (seriously looking good is not good for the environment) but I think it's time I did more. I'm like a super devout Christian right now; I've found salvation and I have to spread it to other people. So get off your butt and go change the world, Angela!

Alright here are the reasons why you have to start now and not tomorrow:

1) You will care less in the future.

I really like to generalize things about human nature and apply them to myself because chances are, I'm just like everyone else. Statistically speaking, people just become less passionate the older they get. In your late twenties you'll have to get a real job and pay for your own food and rent. Then in your thirties you might want to start a family. And well who knows what people do in their forties. The point is, life will happen and you'll have less time to care about things you really care about now. Things that are not important to you because you need a house, a car, food, fulfill social norms. Actual things that are important to you just because you care about them.

2) You have no real responsibilities.

What real responsibilities do you have? None really. Actually none at all. I would say you are only responsible for yourself at this point in life but even that is too much. Your parents are still taking care of you financially (and emotionally for the most part) so you right now at 22 you are only responsible for half a person. Wait ten more years and we'll talk about real responsibilities.

3) You are young.

You have the mental and physical ability to sleep less and work more.

4) Networks.

When else in life will you be able to outreach to hundreds of people at the touch of a button. You have classmates, friends, mentors, professors all within walking distance from your apartment. Get started now because it will get much harder after you graduate.

Suicide in Korea

I recently watched a short documentary about suicide in Korea.

South Korea has the highest suicide rate among developed nations. Somewhere around 40 South Koreans kill themselves everyday. The country experienced tremendous growth in the late 20th century but somehow it led to increased suicide rates. During its development, South Korea invested in schools and raised the country on the platform of education. Academic under-performance is in some ways a failure to the nation. Around the world, Korea is known for its academic scrutiny. However, there has to be something beyond this to explain suicide. We don't see Americans killing themselves when they don't attain the "American dream". The documentary address another potential explanation.

Asian cultures in general place great importance in the value of community (as opposed to individualism). In asian countries, and especially in South Korea, the whole is more important than its parts. Because of this, the sense of belonging is extremely important for individuals in these cultures. The feeling of not belonging to the national identity can be a source of depression and extreme anxiety. Korea, having adopted education as part of its national identity, has set a high bar for "belonging". However, this is seen in other areas of Korean culture. There is also a very high number of plastic surgeries done in the country (especially in the eyes and nose). This trend is also related to suicide. The bar to "fitting in" goes increasingly beyond the reach of the average person and this leads to increased despair and suicides.

First!

So, I'm thinking of using this as an excuse for creative writing. That said, everything I was writing felt weird, so I just forced out a random allegory/tragedy so I could just practice a bit without thinking.

It has a tree in it.

          

The Tree

          Where the Green Man trod the forest sprang to life and all manner of beasts and plants named him Father. But one day the Green Man took from himself his own seed and plunged it deep into the earth. He called forth all who knew his voice and spoke out to his children, “THIS ONE WILL GROW TO CHANGE THE VERY FACE OF THE EARTH!” and with that he departed.

           All of the forest treated the Seed with utmost reverence, and with time the Seed became the Tree. But the Tree was not like the other trees. The Tree grew higher, wider, and swifter than all others, and it was the pride of the forest. Soon the Tree was the largest in the land and its bounty was for all. The Tree blessed the beasts with endless fruit, provided its branches and leaves as shelter for those in need, and offered protection and knowledge to all in its dominion. All was prosperous and good under the Tree... but as it reached for the heavens,  its shadow grew evermore.

           From under the shadow came Sprout. Sprout, who grew smaller and weaker than all others, but called out with a voice that could not be denied. “It is not fair!” he would cry, “It is not fair that I shall never grow as tall as I could! Not fair that I know not the brilliance of the sky and the sun!  For the Tree takes in too much for himself!”

The Tree heard Sprout and it heard the soft murmurs of the forest. So he spoke out to Sprout.

           “Dear Sprout, my growth is for the good of all. I provide protection and peace to all that dwell under me. What I do is more than you ever could. Is it not enough that I provide you enough light between my branches that you may live? Can you not bear to sacrifice a bit of yourself?”

           Sprout twirled in silence and the Tree turned away thinking the matter resolved. But Sprout's words sprang up once more.

           “Tyrant.” he whispered, trembling with rage.

           “What did thou say?” the Tree exclaimed in shock, “Thou dares to insult me? The only child of the Green Man?”

           “We are all children of the Green Man!” Sprout shouted. “What else can we call you? You who stifle us under the guise of protection. Who basks in the glory and leaves us at the mercy of your whims. When will you be satisfied, oh great Tree? Will you not rest till the entire world lies beneath your shadow? TYRANT!”

           The Tree stood silent and regarded Sprout, his contempt evident in the slow shaking of his mighty branches. The Tree turned to face all of the others in the forest.
           “I am the Tree, and the Tree doth not lie. All I do, I do for your sake”. And the forest was silent.

           But as the days passed the Tree could not forget Sprout's words and wherever it looked it saw discontent and anger in the faces of those in its forest. Then, from the silence came a whisper.

“Tyrant” hissed the Sprout. The Tree ignored it, and continued its duties. But everyday Sprout grew louder, and everyday more turned away from the Tree and gathered around Sprout. At last, the Tree resolved to do what it had never done before and decided to remove a life for the good of the forest. So the Tree tightened its branches over Sprout, and Sprout was shrouded in utter darkness. The forest watched as Sprout withered away, and soon after it was no longer one voice, but many that mixed together and echoed  “Tyrant.” all around the Tree.

           The Tree tried to do as it had done before, but no more did the animals clamor for its fruits or seek out its shelter. The Tree let more sun come through its branches, even creating whole new clearings in full view of the sky. But no beasts would come near the clearings, and the obstinate plants grew away from the offered sun. And the Tree knew that it was alone and hardened its heart.

           When the forest came together to declare that they had decided to kill the Tree for the good of all, the Tree already knew. For the Tree saw and heard all in its shadow. The Tree shook with rage and refused to defend himself to the forest, for the forest was no longer his. First the animals attacked the Tree with all they had, but the Tree was stronger. It hardened its bark harder than the toughest stone and grew spikes so that none could climb it. It dropped fruited laced with noxious poison to contaminate everything they touched upon falling. But what began as righteousness fury soon grew tiresome for the Tree. For no matter how much time would pass, the forest would not give up its pointless assault. So the Tree turned away from that which lay under him and instead turned towards the simple purity of the sun and simply grew. The Tree grew upwards faster than it had ever done before and grew its leaves and branches thicker and wider as to block out all that was below from its notice. And soon the sounds below him vanished and there was silence once more.

           The Tree grew lonely and tired as time rolled on, but it dared not look down for fear of the hatred and anger ever present in his thoughts. But then came a great rain which poured for days on end.  The Tree was happy thinking it just more energy to use to reach up towards the sun, but then it felt a shudder far down at the very bottom of its body. This disturbance grew in scale until it reverberated through its entire being, and to its amazement, the Tree found itself falling down. And down. And down.

           The crash was great indeed, and the land itself erupted into the sky. But even so, the Tree found that it was still alive and only needed to be put upright so it could grow once more.

           “Anyone!” the Tree shouted, “Please! If you would only help me up, I could leave you again!”

But as the dust from the crash settled the Tree cried at what he saw. For around him stretching as far as his shadow had reached was a desolate field of blackened death, and the forest that he had once loved had long since decayed in darkness and sorrow. And the Tree saw that without the forest to hold together the earth, the rain had washed away its very foundations. So the Tree cried out to the sky and realized that it had been only a tree after all. 
          Days passed. 
          The tree died.

Fin